Welcome to the Church of Indifference. There is only one god, B; and his prophet is Pokey; his genetically engineered super strong designer midget that can fly.
I think I could start a religion. I mean the tax breaks alone are worth the effort. I mean who wouldn't follow a guy with a midget side kick?
I think my religion would be of indulgence. You know "Partake of this Krispy Kreme....Drink of this Kool Aid..." I wouldn't leave Pokey out man, you never know what super strong midgets that can fly will do to you. He could throw something really heavy and then fly to something else and throw it. It'd be really hard to preach when dodging statuary. Pokey that dude would be straight crazy.
I think I'd want the carpet in my church to be fluorescent orange or dark blue, I like dark blue man and the stains wouldn't show so much. Yeah. It'd be like that crazy ass church in Tommy with statues of Marilyn Monroe everywhere. Pokey would dig that shit. He'd be a big Marilyn Monroe fan. He'd have a tattoo of her with her skirt blowing on his chest; oh man, and when he lifted super heavy stuff with his super strength it would look like her skirt was actually moving. That Pokey is one crazy son of a bitch, even if he was born in a test tube.
Every Sunday we'd do like a meeting or something where we talked about stuff, really deep stuff. Yeah and Pokey would be performing feats of strength while I was preaching. Like doing a thousand push ups and stuff. That would be crazy.
I'd talk about stuff like science and God and how they mix together to form life and stuff...Yeah that would be crazy. Tom Cruise would want to join me but Pokey would be jealous and would throw him and his limo back to Hollywood. Fucking non-believer Tom Cruise.
I'd give myself magical powers to do cool stuff like make an extra candy bar fall out of the snack machine when I paid for just one...That would be so fucking cool. Pokey could have the one that fell; cause he'd like candy. Dude, I'd have Pokey take the machine and turn it around so nobody could buy the last Dolly Madison Apple Pie before we could buy it...That would be a trip. Fuckin Tom Cruise would be so jealous, cause he doesn't have a super strong flying midget like me.
Yeah I'm going to start my own religion. Look out Bill Nye the Scientology Guy...B and Pokey are coming and we've got super powers BITCH!!! We may even make Spider Man a saint or something, I don't know if he likes football though. We'll see, It'd be real cool.