Saturday, February 2, 2013

Wholesome Family Blogging

That will not appear on this blog, therefore ads are not allowed on my blog.  Kind of fucked up really. Why can't I make money for being a loud mouth, foul tempered prick?  Millions of people do it everyday and get away with it.

What is the purpose of a blog if you can't talk about anal sex and prison dicks?  They go hand in hand.  If my blog spoke of homosexuality and how wholesome it was would I be able to put ads up?  What if  I were a transvestite and had pictures of my friends posted?

I could have really used that 15 cents.  Well maybe I'll make a family friendly blog site where you and the kiddies can gather around the computer and read wholesome content on the internet; right before an ad pops up about a web site were you can view gaping wide assholes at

Fuck em.

Well I'll be damned...I'm still alive...That means it's tax time.

Fuck you America.  The fucking devaluation of being an individual that's strong and intelligent has become a priority for you.  You aren't working harder to get ahead, you're working harder to bring everyone back and hold them there so you can suck them dry, like the whores you are.

What the fuck happened?  Remember the days when people fucking cared about getting out and doing a good job and taking pride in their hard work?  Didn't think so.  That's because it's nearly dead.  Government handouts and popular opinion are fucking killing the soul of America.  When bitching becomes a marketable skill there's a fucking problem.  A country full of pussies is a country full of potential slaves, no offense Africa.  I for one, am hoping the Chinese use me to serve tea or something. Thanks to all of you other fucks, I should have the right when we're owned by someone else to pick my job since I've been working while you sit on your asses and hand my hard work away or shove it down your fucking throat as a 7th generation welfare recipient.  I will beg the Chinese government to let me dismember your soft useless bodies for sport and their entertainment.  You will be fodder for the glorious nation of China.

I think everyone that worked their asses off should get the easy jobs when we become an annex of China.  All you lazy piece of shit good for nothing, cock holstering (TM), douche bag thieves should get the shitty jobs.  When the fucking flag falls, because you gave it away, I will be at your fucking door with an axe.  I will bury it in your worthless head.  I will then go next door and proceed with your neighbor.  I will not be the only angry person that knows where to look to find you.  We will slaughter you sheep and the streets will run red with your blood.  You can finally give back to the country you ruined, by being used as fertilizer.  Fuck you.

Oh...Why an axe? you gurgle through your mutilated face.  Because my guns will have been taken away from me and friends because you want the nation to be nothing but a bunch of spineless pussies like you.  You should be scared. The dregs of society will be fertilizer before long.

There will never be a race war, a class war; those are myths.  It will be a war between the people that want to keep the country great and the people that would give it away for a new pair of shoes.  That's the next civil war.  People of all creeds will band together to keep what they worked so hard to build and then watched it given away by you.

The United States of China.  Presented to you by all the worthless cock holsterin' (TM) ass clowns of America.

Fuck em.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Chinese genetically engineered super midgets cleverly disguised as teenage gymnasts.

AP - Recent discoveries have clearly proven that although the Chinese gymnasts are indeed 16; they are in fact genetically engineered midgets with superhuman abilities.

Quang Long Duck of Xenia Liu province has come forward declaring his guilt and genius.

"I was approached by men who ask for super midget. I give them super midgets that look 14, are actually 16 and look like littel girls."

It hasn't yet been proven whether or not Duck had any help in his endeavor but it would appear as though he must have. "I like the American Idol" Duck professed, "I think Paula was a smoking hot." Obviously while Duck may possess genius he has little taste and sense.

At one point durning the olympics it was pointed out that one of the midgets had a missing tooth thought to be proof of the "childs" age, but that was clarified by one Mr. Xiang Yoe Kwoy.

"Not child!" said Kwoy. Who am I to argue. Especially now that we know of the supermidget conspiracy. "Not Midget!" argued Mr. Kwoy, but all I could say was "My ass Asian".

After a great deal of time and money I was able to contact one Ms. Yang Yun. we had to wait for her to complete folding the laundry and picking the rice, but afterward we had a cup of green tea and sat down on the floor to discuss her age int he 2004 Olympics. "I no on team nomore," Yun declared "I pick da rice." That right Yun; you pick the fucking rice.

Although we couldn't legally acquire any pictures of the super midgets we managed to sneak on the gymnast compound and were able to photograph a glimpse of the 2012 Olympic gymnast Lieu Huang. The photo on the right could not be verified by nobody other than ourselves and several drunken Tibetans but we belive this to be a current photo of 12 year old Huang.

"In light of this photo we believe," said IOC President Jacques Rogge ,"this clarifies and puts to rest any suspicions levied against our friends the Chinese." Rogge continued "We knew all along that this underage gymnast thing was bullshit;" finishes Rogge "who in their right mind would thinkj the Chinese possible of such atrocities?" Not us Mr. Rogge, not us.

So friends and indigents that happen to read this slurry of bullshit and manipulated images, rest at ease knowing we can fully lay our trust upon the warm welcoming bossoms of the Chinese Empire.

Russia...The pathetic schoolboy proclaiming his greatness in a bathroom mirror.

So it's been a while since I've railed or ranted about some pathetic thing in the world today. So lets start with something easy...Russia.

What can you say about Russia except for "What the fuck?". Here is a nation of "do-nothing about anything" idiots all of a sudden proclaiming their greatness; just like the schoolboy declaring his strength and wonder to his reflection in the mirror. Who do they really think they are fooling?

They just recently lost an entire ship of munitions to a bunch of monkey humping pirates off the coast of Somalia. Wow let's talk about competence...Weapons weapons everywhere, but not a bullet anywhere? How do you fucking ship a boatload of weapons without one fucking guard on the fucker? I mean fucking hell man!!! An entire fucking ship full of small arms and "big" arms...and not one fucking person on board with balls and a gun?

You know I like Russia...It's like a trailers park on the ass of the world. They have balls to yell and bark at everything going on in the world but they don't have one ball to step forward and make a change for the better. Oh they are great alright.

Here I sit in Afghanistan and I gaze out upon the decrepit tanks and destroyed aircraft scattered around Bagram. Let me get this straight...A bunch of fucking rock chuckers kicked your asses. You said as much in the military review "When the Bear went over the mountain". These guys live in shit and mud houses and you couldn't kick their asses? What the fuck were you idiots doing? You could have given them soap and empty water bottles and won the war yet you still lost.

Where is your military might? Where do you find you inspiration to even open your mouth as a world power? Oh you have stuff in space..Thats right...You took your ball and went to space with it. What a fucking boatload of fucking vodka drinking bullshit!!! You want to be a power stop jerking your little cosack dicks and man up in the world.

Do you really think anyone takes Russia seriously? I mean Washington probably puts the phone on mute and puts speaker phone on so everyone can laugh out loud at the retarded audacity of a bunch impotent loudmouths declaring their superiority. I for one think the Putin look-a-like contest that was won by one Mr. Wendel T. Hardings ass, has to be one of my favorite stories out of Washington.

"The solidarity of the international community fostered on the wave of struggle against terrorism turned out to be somehow `privatized'," Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov told the U.N. General Assembly's annual ministerial meeting.

Fucking really huh? Maybe if you fucking pustule cockbags would pony some bucks as we clean the world of pieces of shit that rank even higher than you, because no matter how misdirected, and now dead, they tried to do something opposed to waiting around and letting everyone else do it for them...I think that would make you a scavanger...You know like a maggot. Thats right like a fucking maggot that like to be friends with boy fucking dirt eaters like the Iranians. A bunch of impotent boy rapers sitting around waxing their dicks talking about their spector like greatness. Fuck you.

I keep reading all these bullshit articles citing fat Russians railing against the USA and their excessive force and blah blah blah...Pot calling kettle...Come in kettle...? Oh wait at least we are making some changes in the world not just waiting for the populations to die out so we can then move in. How quickly we can forget teh horrors we imposed upon people of, I don't, say Georgia? Excessive force you say? What about the raizing and destruction laid to Afghanistan while you ran away with your tail between your legs? Or was that just a fancy ass plug?

The way I see it is we have a country of Russian drunken fat asses railing against a country of American drunken fat asses at least willing to try and effect a change. In my mind there isn't anything worse than impotent forces declaring their power and greatness. Quite simply...Russia go fuck yourselves you pompus pieces of shit. You want respect? Get off you fat asses and do something other than blowing the boy fucking Iranians and all the other dirt eating countries that blow you in all your imaginary glory. I suppose Putin and all his lackeys never heard "you're no better than the company you keep". Dirt eating boy fuckers!


Saturday, April 28, 2007

Vatican calls God for an Exemption to Policy..WTF?!

Good news for babies that are aborted from here on out. No Limbo for you!! Straight to Heaven you ill-concieved little bastards!! Thats right the Pope personally called God and and asked that the exception be made.

What does this mean for you, you ask? You're still going to Hell but that baby you made during your binge drinking vacation to Vegas will be on it's way to Heaven, should you decide to have it vaccu-sucked from the cold hard womb of your loved one.

I am to understand that all previously aborted babies and children that didn't get baptized before they died will still remain in Limbo. One Vatican source says "Limbo is a nice place, they have good times." Good times.

For years unbaptized children that died before they could get baptized ended up in Limbo because they were born of sin but not enough sin to go to Hell. I personally believe they only went to Limbo because they weren't allowed to say "Hell".

Limbo...Dante said Limbo was the outer circle of Hell. The Vatican says it a nice place. Does this mean that eveything we've learned about hell is incorrect? Could Hell be the party place? Can we continue fornicating and reveling in our sin in the "New" Hell? What does Heaven hold in store for us? Is Heaven a 24 hour adult video store with cheap hookers or is it a mauntery filled with all the rigid bitches we had to deal with on Earth?

This just goes to show that with enough pressure the Vatican can change anything they want for anything they deem necessary. Undisclosed sources indicate that Charles Manson has personally contacted to the Pope to have policy reviewed in his case.

Believe this blogger will stay on top of this issue and continue to delve into the details.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

My Chance...

Have you ever smelled blood? Have you ever heard the pleas for help from a man that had less than half his face still recognizable? How about sat by as your friend cried for his mother at age 19 knowing he was never going to get to say "I love you" again to her? I haven't. I bet most of us haven't. But I bet a lot of Veterans have.

Most 18 year olds are out partying and getting drunk after highschool. A select few are answering a call of their nation. A select few 18 year olds are sacrificing their last few years as kids to be adults. What does it mean to be an adult. It means facing the pain and suffering of life knowing you can make it better for someone else.

I'm watching all the media about the Anti-War protests and everyone getting upset at the Governement for ot hearing their cries. What happens with that frustration when the Government ignores their cries? Who will recieve the brunt of that anger? Who will suffer the anger of those that sleep in their beds at night and have never seen a gallon of blood soaking into the dirt; blood that once made their friends warm and loving. People that don't have what it takes to ask their neighbors to mow their grass. People that will eat a cold dinner to avoid conflict at a restaraunt.

What's my point huh? I don't remember it but I bet my Dad does; what about all the "Baby Killers of Vietnam"? What about the mis-treatment of young adults that went past young adult to the kind of adult that has seen more than anyone ever deserves to see? What about the childhood that was drenched in blood and deafened by the screams of their friends and fellow soldiers? Where were the protestors while that was happening? Where were all the hateful people that felt since the Governement didn't feel guilty they'd attack the Heroes that returned home to hate. Hadn't they seen enough of it already? Hadn't they seen everything a person should never see in their life?

I'm afraid the Heroes of today are going to return to frustrated civilians with nowhere to place they're hate, but on the Men and Women that sacrificed thriving pieces of their lives to fight for the people the protestors put in power.

I'm afraid America will once again forget what it's done and blame everyone but themselves. The voters laid this foundation and now there is no way to turn away from this trainwreck of conflicts.

You want to protest? Protest your half thought ideas. Protest the spineless America that foresakes their Heroes even after they call them forth. Protest the pathetic ideas of people that just want to be behind a cause with no understanding of what they're behind. Protest yourselves everyday for being so weak and fickle. When the mob wants the fight they squeal with pleasure like hedonists beasts; when the mob wants it to stop they cry like spoiled children.

I protest the America that gave up on the people that made America what it was. I protest your weak hearts and stomachs. I protest your spineless cries for forgiveness over beginning something you have no stomach to finish. I protest you America. You are weak and pathetic. You stand behind your laws and your civil liberties to shield yourselves from the realities of life.

You voted; you started this war; you kept it going. It's your fault not our Soldiers. Their blood spills in a foriegn country while yours boils at your pathetic designs. Their blood streams for their dedication while yours thickens and stops for your lack of dedication.

American people today are not even a shadow of what they once were. We're some softened pathetic bunch of mobsters that want a masacare but don't want to deal with the clean up or the long term consequences.

I stand behind our Soldiers, our Government, and I'll do anything and everything I can, forever more, to help those that served and those that gave for the fickle weak mob. The Soldiers deserve our Nation while you Amercians deserve the scraps. You have called these Men and Women to arms. You pay the consequences for once. You America! You pay the price for the pain you cause your own children. You pay for the price of the blood you asked for.

Protesting now doesn't change your guilt; it only amplifies it. You can't even bear the responsibility of you own choices. Now you have me to blame. Now you have everyone else to blame but yourself.

My tears fall for the Soldiers that have fallen. My heart breaks for the mother that can't tell her son she loves him. For you America, these Men and Women sacrifice themselves. For you America I pray; I pray these soldiers never treat you like you treat them. I pray you never have to taste what it is you force feed down everyones throats. I hope you never have to smell your own blood as it pours from your body. I pray you never have to hear your friends last breath. Finally I pray the blackness of your drying blood is not the last thing you see; I pray you see the face of a Man or Woman coming to your aid, coming to support you when you need it most.

Our Soldiers are tired and worn out and they need our support more now than ever. You've given up America, your Soldiers haven't. They'll never give up on you; do you want to give up on them?

God Bless Our Soldiers. God Bless our Men and Women. God Bless America.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Heaven is Hell these days..

Thunder from Heaven.

Sources in Heaven report the Family isn’t doing so well recently.

“I happened to be sitting out in the hall when the fight began.” A secret source revealed. “All I heard was JC yelling about the dying thing didn’t prove the point to Him (God) and JC said "What am I going to have to do become an Atheist?”"

The Vatican and everyone that relies on religion for money isn’t too keen on this idea. Cardinal Luis Santiago indicates that the Vatican has been considering sacrificing a virgin like in the movie King Kong. “We watched it last week.” the Cardinal said.

“I don’t want anyone to get upset” said the source “but JC is pretty mad. He broke a harp and kicked at a flock of doves.” The source continued “JC isn’t normally like this, you know he hangs out and gives a hand every once in a while, but with all this trouble being caused about Heaven watching everyone all the time, everyone here is stressed out.”

As you may recall from a previous post Heaven is under scrutiny because the world wants to wank in privacy. It has been suggested that heaven only watch during the daylight hours, however some advocacy groups fear the end of the “Nooner” should that happen. Benny Callista of New York City has this to say; “If heaven watches over me during the day when am I going to get my sex on? Huh? I drive a fucking bus at night; when you think I’m gonna get mine, while I’m in the fuckin’ bus?”

Outrage like this can be heard echoing from around the world. What’s even more disconcerting is the question of how can Heaven control who they watch when they’re watching. This is where the pressure on Christ is coming from currently. Unfortunately Christ was unavailable for comment.

It seems Heaven has been Hell lately according to multiple sources. Will Christ become an Atheist? Will Heaven have to stop watching the world at wanking? “Look Christ and his Dad have had fights before,” says one source close to the Family “I mean a guy can’t go much further than getting crucified to prove a point. Oh and you think that was really about mankind? Ha! JC wanted to get a tattoo and his dad wouldn’t let him; point proved if you ask me.”

Public scrutiny of the Family has echoed throughout the ages. Why does a 2000 year old man live with his Dad? Rev. Fred Phelps has been seeking out the gates of Heaven to hold a protest in searching for this answer. We can only hope some crazed gunman will show the Rev. Phelps the way very soon.

As for now though a slight calm has over taken Heaven as they seek to eliminate the sacrilegious blogger that keeps pretending he has clue about anything that goes on. Lets hope they can’t find him.